Memories of a Forgotten Angel
by The Reader is Now Blind
Summary: Hitomi somehow travels to Gaia, but no one remembers her and everything is different from when she left...
1. Hard Wired

I don't own Escaflowne or any of the song lyrics I randomly put here. And no, I'm not a hacker, so sorry if this isn't all correct. Please R/R.  
  


**Memories of a Forgotten Angel**  
Chapter One: Hard Wired  
  
_ "...All the secrets and the mysteries  
You've been selfishly withholding  
The dreams and hopes  
That once were yours  
Will now be collected and dispersed..."_  
-**Tracy Chapman,** "Hard Wired"  
  


As she stepped out of the steamy hot water, Hitomi Kanzaki sighed blissfully and wrapped herself in a terry cloth towel. She couldn't remember the last time she had such a refreshing bath, sending all the dirt and grime off of her and down the drain. Too bad her troubles didn't join them as well.  
  
Drying herself briskly, Hitomi gingerly steeped around her cluttered room, searching for some decent clothing, but eventually just threw on gray sweatpants and a sweatshirt two sizes too big that she had on before, daring to go without a bra or even underwear. She caught a quick glimpse of herself in the mirror as she headed downstairs, and maybe she would have lamented how her outfit along with her short haircut made her look like a boy. But since it was unlikely that she would be going anywhere, she frankly didn't give a damn about her appearance.  
  
Though she wouldn't officially turn twenty-one until tomorrow, Hitomi helped herself to a beer from the refrigerator. Her father wouldn't notice it's disappearance when he came home later that night, if he even would come at all. Most likely he would go to a business party after his work, flirting with female co-workers that probably around the same age as Hitomi. The idea of it, along with the bitter taste of alcohol, made Hitomi grimace. Her father would be offered better refreshments than she, that's for certain.  
  
The sound of tires squealing outside caused Hitomi's body to stiffen, and her hand shook violently as she finished the last of the can. That was why she drank, despite the god awful taste, it was slowly helping her forget. The forget that day exactly 3 years ago. The snow, the ice, the treacherous roads, the moving van slipping into the path of her mother's car, the screams, the glass, the sight of her mother's and brother's mangled bodies being pulled from the wreckage while Hitomi came out without a scratch on her body. She had celebrated her eighteenth birthday at a funeral home, dressed in black, and alone.  
  
That's why, though he never really showed it, deep down her father hated her, because she had survived and his precious wife and son did not. He used to love her, but they grew apart, especially after her freshman year of high school. Not knowing she could hear every word he said, her father would describe Hitomi to his friends as, 'Moody, depressing, deceitful, and a general freak of nature for surviving that damn accident.' So in return, Hitomi resented her father, thus explaining their avoidance of one another. They were more like two strangers having the inconvenience of a shared house then like a family, a situation Hitomi couldn't or wouldn't complain about.   
  
Her high school diploma hung on the home office wall, right above her computer monitor. It was a small wonder she received it at all, considering that she would have failed most of her classes several of times. It's not that she didn't do the work, it's just that during class she would sense of concentration and stare out the window at the sky, searching...  
  
Hitomi shook the thought out of her head as she sat down in her chair, jiggling the mouse to deactivate the screensaver. She had left her instant messaging program on, with an away message saying, "Bath...brb." There were 5 messages while she was gone, and she didn't even have to look at the name to know who it was.  
  
"Hi Ame," Hitomi typed quickly, and soon a message returned. "Hitomi! Hey girl, what took you so long?"  
  
"I was in the bath, like my away message said. Anyways, what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing much. Just poking my head through the Tokyo police database."  
  
"Ame, that's serious." Even though her Hitomi had just become a hacker under Ame's guidance, she never really did anything cruel or really big. She had seemed to be a natural to this line of work, somehow locating the files she wanted in her mind, knowing how to unlock almost everything she tried to.  
  
"You're such an amateur. I'm just taking care of a few unpaid parking tickets they wrongly gave me, nothing big; they have no idea what I'm doing, as usual. Did you hear? Someone even hacked into the website and put up a picture of a naked woman. Man I wished that was me, both the hacker and the woman."  
  
Although Hitomi was used to Ame's sexual flamboyant behavior, she was still slightly shocked. But she hid it well as she brought back up a point. "I'm not that much of an amateur. At least I don't type in l337."  
  
"Hell yeah. Any idiot who types like that when hacking a page is bound to be caught. So, what are you working on?"  
  
"Nothing special, just tracking IP address of some jerk that has been threatening Yukari with emails. If I get the location of the guy for them, Amano and her will personally fly from England to the guy's doorstep to beat the living daylights out of him."  
  
"Ooh, they should sell tickets to see that...hold on..," There was a pause before Ame spoke again. "You're not going to believe this."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I found some investigation this one detective is doing on accident. Apparently, there's a cult that resides at a warehouse in the Tokyo bay that claim that they, get this, 'spiritually travel to a world they call Gaia.' What kind of crap is that?"  
  
The entire Earth seemed to stop spinning as Hitomi's heart froze at the sight of the word, 'Gaia'. _It......it.....can't be! No, I....I..._  
  
"Hello? Hitomi? You there?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Good. I thought the pigs had busted in on you."  
  
"Why would they do that? I'm only an amateur. Where's the place of that cult again?"  
  
"You can't be seriously thinking of joining, are you?"  
  
"Give it to me. Please."  
  
"Fine. According this report, it's at Port One, in a abandoned factory that used to belong to a fish company called 'Nanisawa Fish'. I certainly hope you know what you're doing getting involved with these whackos."  
  
"Thanks Ame."  
  
"No problem," the other girl responded, but Hitomi was already out the door. 


	2. Running Against Myself

I don't own Escaflowne or any of the song lyrics I randomly put here. Oh, and the cult scene and the description of Daamian was based of an experience in the book Summoning Forth Wiccan Gods and Goddesses; The Magick of Invocation and Evocation by Lady Maeve Rhea. Please R/R.  
  


**Memories of a Forgotten Angel**  
Chapter Two: Running Against Myself  
  
_ "...I know my heart is in the right place  
But my head is somewhere else  
What I wouldn't give to give to quit this race  
I'm running against myself..."_  
-**Ben Wakeman,** "Running Against Myself"  
  


The muscles in Hitomi's body throbbed in protest after being used so strenuously after so many years, but she ignored the pain and continued towards her destination. It seemed like forever, but Hitomi finally reached Tokyo Bay, the salty air searing her nostrils and stinging her eyes.  
  
"Just why the hell am I here?" Hitomi muttered, realizing she had just ran 5 miles from her house for no reason at all. It was like a voice in her head had yelled, "Go! Go! GO!", but now no trace of that urge remained. Hitomi was about to turn around and catch the next bus, repeating how stupid she was, when a feminine hand gently tugged at Hitomi's arm. "You seem lost. Do you need help finding your way?"  
  
"No, I'm fine. I just-"  
  
"You ARE lost," the stranger from behind interrupted. "I can sense it your soul."  
  
Sighing in irritation, Hitomi faced the woman who had stopped and gasped audibly. Ankle-length pale blond framed a ivory face, nary a strand falling into light gray eyes. A deep violet sash reminiscent of the sunset clashed with the woman's homely woven cornsilk robe. Hitomi unconsciously backed away in awe, asking, "Who...who are you?"  
  
Smiling solemnly, the woman bowed, "I am the right hand of High Priest Daamian of the Holy Gaian Order, Sister Flora. Our chapel is nearby, and it would be my pleasure to invite you if you care to join us, for we welcome those who seek us. Oh, excuse me for being so straightforward. May I inquire your name and perhaps why you are lost?"  
  
"My name is Hitomi Kanzaki," Hitomi replied, still a little wary of the offlandish woman, and reluctantly admitted, "and I'm lost because of because I was looking for you because of your claims of traveling to Gaia. The truth is....I went to Gaia a couple of years ago and,.....and I want to go back ."  
  
"You were able to astral travel by yourself?! How wonderful!" Flora exclaimed gleefully, clasping Hitomi's hands in her own. "Daamian would definitely wish to request your presence, as well as the others of the order. Please, come!"  
  
Hitomi could hardly say no with Flora looking at her so earnestly, but as she agreed, she could feel a small shiver run up her back. Flora didn't seem to notice Hitomi's uneasiness as she led her to a warehouse so run down Hitomi highly doubted that even rats would even live in. Yet to Hitomi's surprise, the interior of the building was furnished exquisitely, with lush fabric drapes hanging from the walls, stained ornate furniture, and too many flickering candles to count. Others were there, wearing similar outfits to Flora's, their conversations mingling together into a soft hum. Offering Hitomi a seat on a plush silk pillow, Flora bowed again and explained, "Please wait here for one moment as announce your arrival to Daamian."  
  
Before Hitomi could complain at the prospect of being alone, Flora disappeared into the adjacent room. Rubbing her pounding temples, Hitomi cursed under her breath. Her mind reminded her how obvious it was that she was in way over her head coming here, and should leave quietly if the chance arose. But the thought of the possibility of going back to Gaia tugged at her heartstrings and awakened past feelings she didn't realize she still had. So she stayed, compelled to sit until Flora returned with the man called "High Priest Daamian'.  
  
"Good evening Sister. It certainly is a surprise that you partake in the ceremony tonight."  
  
Hitomi looked into the cool piercing blue eyes of a foreboding man who she believed to be Daamian from the admiration he received from the others. She instantly feared the man as she squeaked, "C-ceremony?"  
  
Daamian nodded and spread his massive arms out, similar to an eagle taking flight. "Yes, for tonight, we shall embark on our voyage to the promise land!"  
  
The cheers echoed of the walls, and Daamian faced Hitomi, grasping her hand and kissing it. "That is, if you are willing to help us, Sister Seraphina."  
  
Barely disguising her disgust, Hitomi removed her hand from Daamian's grip. "Who is Seraphina?"  
  
"Why, that's you! Every Brother and Sister is christened with their holy name by the person who inducted them," Flora responded nonchalantly, "and since I inducted you, I chose the name Seraphina, for I thought is suited you."  
  
Breathing in deeply, Daamian shouted, "Now we will begin! Everyone, gather together around the circle and chant after me, 'Those above and those below, allow us what we wish to know. In the sky and in the sea, allow us what we wish to be.'"  
  
"Wait, I never agreed-" Hitomi started, only for her protest to be drowned out by the voices. The pace of the incantation became faster and faster, the words jumbling together until incoherent babble, whipping the group into an hysterical frenzy. Hitomi squatted down, trying to block her senses from the sounds as well as the sights, for many in their crazed state of mind began to chew on their own bodies and draw blood. Among the chaos, Daamian motioned to Flora, who came willingly with a tall candle. Suddenly, everyone was silent as Daamian took the candle from Flora as she laid down on her stomach on the ground, her robe pulled down to expose her whole back. Daamian raised the candle and asked loud enough for everyone to hear, "Sister Flora, will you carry the pains of our people in order for the pilgrimage to Gaia?!"  
  
"Yes," Flora mumbled, clenching the ground for a reason Hitomi was unsure of, until Daamian tipped the candle over. The guttural screams that escaped from Flora's mouth resonated off the walls, and Hitomi felt sick at the sight of the hot wax sticking to the burnt flesh. That was all could she handle she determined, jumping up and fleeing from the scene, Flora's howls still ringing in her ears.  
  
As much as Hitomi tried to prevent it, the bile rose, burning her throat and mouth before it splattered to the ground. She couldn't stop shivering, and images swarmed in front of her. Daamian's grim eyes, the crazed look on the others, and Flora's pain...  
  
Hitomi threw up again, and leaned against a street lamp, gazing at the stars in the clear night sky. She buried her face in her hands, sobbing, "What the hell is wrong with me?! Why am I here?! Just where do I belong?! Can't anyone tell me?! PLEASE SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY!!"  
  
The only response came from the cries of seagulls and a ship's foghorn off in the distance, not exactly what Hitomi considered divine intervention. Holding onto the lamp pole for support, Hitomi faced the sky again and quietly begged, "Please, just take me where I belong. Please."  
  
Something glimmered around the moon, forming the outline of what seemed to be another planet.  
  
"G-gaia?" Hitomi questioned incredously. Beams of light shot down from the newly visible planet, one landing on Hitomi and dragging her up. She tried to cling to something, shouting, "No! This can't be real! Stop!"  
  
But struggling was useless Hitomi realized as she let go, and let herself zip up into the sky.  
  



End file.
